Tuesday, November 2, 2010
The Business of Being Born
Last Friday Scott and I watched The Business of Being Born. This movie is directed my Ricky Lake and produced by Abby Epstein. OMG! You have to watch it. Whether you're unsure of your birthing options, not pregnant, pregnant for the second + time, dead set on what you want to do, no matter what, watch it! It's such a great movie. I will post the trailer after this blog.
I think for the majority of us, especially when you've never been pregnant, are completely in the dark when it comes to prenatal care and birthing options. Society has pushed us to believe that labor is frightening and that our bodies are incapable of delivering a natural, vaginal birth. We need C-sections, epiderals, pitosin, demoral, because we can't handle the pain. "The norm" has taken that away from us.
Let me tell you where I started and where I'm at now in the short time I have known that I'm pregant. First off, I knew right away I wanted a natural,vaginal birth but I only knew with so little confidence that I didn't really believe in myself that I could do it. Scott said I was crazy and out of my mind. My girlfriend sent me the webiste of her birthing center and I thought, "no way, I want to be in a hospital". I thought a water birth was a little too granola for even me and Scott didn't know anything existed outside of a labor room in the hospital. He didn't know what a doula was. When I told him I was interested in having one, he thought it was ridiculous.
Well here we are now, much more informed. We've been reading, watching, listening and our views have shifted quite a bit.
When we watched the movie, Scott said to me "I'm so happy that you are doing all this research. I never knew all these things". He was referring to the risks you take when opting for the drugs that most doctors and nurses will push on you. It's crazy how in the dark women are when it comes to their choices. I am most interested in a water birth in a birthing center now. I never thought I would say that. I'm still a little nervous of it all and that's normal but we're excited to have choices, to be able to decide ourself how we want to deliver this baby. We're looking into The Bradley Method and Hypnobirthing. Any and all feedback is much needed. I am excited to gain this self-confidence in the time between now and when our baby is born.
I will keep you posted!! And will post the trailer now.
I think for the majority of us, especially when you've never been pregnant, are completely in the dark when it comes to prenatal care and birthing options. Society has pushed us to believe that labor is frightening and that our bodies are incapable of delivering a natural, vaginal birth. We need C-sections, epiderals, pitosin, demoral, because we can't handle the pain. "The norm" has taken that away from us.
Let me tell you where I started and where I'm at now in the short time I have known that I'm pregant. First off, I knew right away I wanted a natural,vaginal birth but I only knew with so little confidence that I didn't really believe in myself that I could do it. Scott said I was crazy and out of my mind. My girlfriend sent me the webiste of her birthing center and I thought, "no way, I want to be in a hospital". I thought a water birth was a little too granola for even me and Scott didn't know anything existed outside of a labor room in the hospital. He didn't know what a doula was. When I told him I was interested in having one, he thought it was ridiculous.
Well here we are now, much more informed. We've been reading, watching, listening and our views have shifted quite a bit.
When we watched the movie, Scott said to me "I'm so happy that you are doing all this research. I never knew all these things". He was referring to the risks you take when opting for the drugs that most doctors and nurses will push on you. It's crazy how in the dark women are when it comes to their choices. I am most interested in a water birth in a birthing center now. I never thought I would say that. I'm still a little nervous of it all and that's normal but we're excited to have choices, to be able to decide ourself how we want to deliver this baby. We're looking into The Bradley Method and Hypnobirthing. Any and all feedback is much needed. I am excited to gain this self-confidence in the time between now and when our baby is born.
I will keep you posted!! And will post the trailer now.
The 6th week
It's been so busy I haven't had a single moment to sit down and write what's been going on. And there's been a lot going on. The day after my last blog (Thursday) I had an exam scheduled for work so that I could complete a certification. While I was there I felt something (down there) and rushed to the bathroom. There was spotting and more than I had seen before. It was brown spotting. No red blood or cramps, which I heard is when you really should worry but of course, I was worried. I called my doctor's office and they said to come in that afternoon and get things checked out. Scott was in a conference downtown but wanted to go with me. I scheduled the appointment for 2:15. At that point it was only about 11:00. During the in between time I went to meet girlfriends for lunch at my old place of work. They were in a meeting so I was waiting and catching up with old co-workers. Then I felt it again and rushed to the bathroom and there was more. I left right away and called Scott. We decided to just drive to the doctor's right then and there. I was doing what I do best, worrying like a psycho. Reading shit on the internet. I would find ten posts that read that the same thing happened and it's normal and pregnancy was fine and then there would be that one that said they miscarried and I was convinced that would be me. I felt better as soon as I was with Scott, even though I could tell he was masking a little bit of fear as well. We headed over to the doctors. We were really excited to meet with him. We sat in the waiting room, I was calming down and feeling better. As we were waiting in the waiting room, one of my best friend couples called to tell me they just found out they were having a girl! So exciting and surprising, I swore they were having a boy. When I told them where we were, they were saying that they had the same exact thing happen to them and that the spotting was probably due to the implantation. I was continuing to mellow out. It's so easy for people who haven't experienced the same thing to tell you to relax and be more confident. It's a lot more helpful when someone who has gone through it can you identify with your real feelings and tell you their outcome. Shortly after we ended our phone call we met with the doctor. Dr. Biter was more than I expected. He was so sweet and sincere. He wanted to know all about us, how we met, what we did, how we felt about being parents. He had a little heart to heart with me about my worrying. Both of my parents died awhile ago and it tainted me to believe that death and disappointed will always be a part of my life, even in moments like this. He explained that his father died when he was 14 and what he's done to keep a healthy state of mind. He said he didn't want me concentrated on hcg levels and other medicals terms like that. He said he felt I should be educated but to leave the medical stuff up to the guy that went to med school. He encouraged us to focus more on our marriage, to talk about our childhoods and what we liked and didn't like, what we want to bring forward and what we want to leave behind. If you didn't read the previous blog on finding my OB then I'll let you know he's an advocate for natural childbirth. He told us that if we wanted epidurals and pitocin then any doctor will do but if I plan on having a natural childbirth then he can get he can get me through that. We did an ultra sound and the doctor said everything looked perfect. We even got our first pictures. Although there wasn't much to see, we could see a spot. It was elating! It really made us feel pregnant. Afterwards we went to the lab to do hcg level testing. He called that night to let me know my hcg levels were at 4,000 and that was a great place to be. We went back on Saturday to evaluate the rate at which the levels were growing. In less than 48 hours they were more than doubled! Whoooooo hooooo! My baby's growing!
It's so scary at this point. You're at a place where miscarriage is not unlikely to happen. You don't care if your baby is just a "yolk" or an embryo or blastocyst. It's your baby and you become so proctective of him or her. You become a mom from the first day you find out you're pregnany and that begins a lifetime of worrying. Congratulations and welcome to mommy-hood.
It's so scary at this point. You're at a place where miscarriage is not unlikely to happen. You don't care if your baby is just a "yolk" or an embryo or blastocyst. It's your baby and you become so proctective of him or her. You become a mom from the first day you find out you're pregnany and that begins a lifetime of worrying. Congratulations and welcome to mommy-hood.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Searching & Hoping: OB sent from Heaven
Wow! No one said searching for your OB would be easy but no one said it was hard either. This seems like the least talked about subject when you're you're all fresh and new to this pregger's situation. I think we all (women with baby aboard) sort of get all starry eyed and have thoughts of dandelions when they think about the relationship we (including partner) hope to have with our OB through out the entirety of our pregnancy. I just had this idea that we would meet someone and he/she would know everything about us: how we felt about natural childbirth, inductions, epiziotomy's, epiderals, pitosin, C-sections, etc. I was also hoping he would know my favorite color, what I order at Starbucks and want to know all my favorite baby names. Apparently OB's tend to be pretty busy. Shocker! I can dream, can't I?
I didn't think it was important to find an OB right away. I mean I'm not delivering for quite some time. However it was adviced to me that I begin doing my homework immediately because they can get quite "traffic"y and I may not be able to get into the doctor I choose for over a month. Well since I'm close to 6 weeks and should get in by 9 weeks, I should get planning now! I started searching "Natural birth San Diego" and got a couple of birthing centers. I was also referred to a birthing center by a gf of mine. I decided against a birthing center. I have anxiety issues and as freakishly as this may sound, I'm comforted in a hospital. I think it's just knowing all that I need in case of an emergency is there. Anyway, I decided to next try my health insurance website to see if they had a "find a doctor" button. Yes, they did BUT all that does is give you a list of doctors. Like I care if some random doctor lives within 5 miles of me. What I care about is what they care about. I wanted profiles, pictures, references, ratings. I could find nothing like that. Then I searched for "top doctors in San Diego" and San Diego Magazine had a fantastic list of tons of doctors listed by their specialty. Sounds great and all but all I'm thinking is how all these rich doctors probably just paid for advertising to get their name on the list. I still didn't have references and reviews. So I made a list of doctors I found (from the list and other places) and thought I would google each one to see what I could find. However, in the meantime, I had this one doctor in mind (recommended to my by the same amazing and resourceful friend that referred me to the birthing center) that I was having a hell of a time finding. I found an organic baby boutique that he was affiliated with and had emailed this random email address that I found to see if I could get any information. As I was searching each doctor from my long list, I had an email message in my inbox from the baby boutique with information on the doctor I was looking for. She gave me his phone number, told me some wonderful things about him and I was happy as a clam! I called right away and made my appointment. This small event put me in the best mood ever since I found out I was pregnant (omit the first 12 hours of finding out - nothings as good as that).
I am so excited about this doctor that I couldn't wait to blog about it. His name is Robert Biter. He formally practiced at Scripps Encinitas. Scripps suspended his work, leaving several women feeling alone, considering their OB was just ordered not to perform anymore deliveries. There was no public explanation but there is quite a bit of speculation about it all. Dr. Biter isn't the kind of doctor that will push you out of the hospital as quick as he can. He encourages you to stay as long as you need for your body to do what is naturally needs to do. When he was suspended, crowds gathered to rally and protest. The support he had was amazing! Everyone loves him because he is such an advocate for women's right about their birthing choices. He is known for staying during the entire process where most doctor's are known for jumping in just as the baby is popping out. He encourages a natural vaginal birth and supports a women's decision to choose against a C-section when other doctors made them feel they didn't have a choice. Since he was suspended there has been rumors he may be opening a birthing center but when I called today the receptionist said he is in negotiation to work for a new hospital. So I'm obviously over the moon about this guy. My bff called to say she checked him out online and went on to say "he's HOT". Which of course I already knew but who cares about hot when this guys going to see me have hemorrhoids and possibly poop on the table.
Anyway, my appt is set for Nov. 17th. I just felt like I really checked something off of my list. My hubby and I plan on gathering a list of our biggest concerns and making sure we see eye to eye with Mr. Dr. of my dreams. He sounds so good on paper, and hopefully he is, but we're keeping our options open until we meet with him. Regardless, I will be having my first prenatal visit with him where we should hear a heartbeat!! I hope. I mean, I hope it's not too early to hear a heartbeat.
To finish this successful day off, I went to my Pilates training class and spoke to my instructor about my new addition. I've read that you should stay away from core exercises (which = Pilates) when you are pregnant. My instructor said she taught Pilates and Yoga throughout her entire pregnancy up until labor. She said it can only be good for me. Of course as I get further along, adjustments will have to be made. Point is, is that ever since I found out I was pregnant I keep doubting my body and all that it is capable of. Yesterday I worked out and still keep "checking" everytime I pee to make sure nothing bad is happening down there. But today I finally got this wind of confidence. If I miscarry it won't be because of Pilates, or walking, or eating pineapple, or kissing my dog, or blah blah blah. It feels so good to feel this strong.
Until tomorrow...
I didn't think it was important to find an OB right away. I mean I'm not delivering for quite some time. However it was adviced to me that I begin doing my homework immediately because they can get quite "traffic"y and I may not be able to get into the doctor I choose for over a month. Well since I'm close to 6 weeks and should get in by 9 weeks, I should get planning now! I started searching "Natural birth San Diego" and got a couple of birthing centers. I was also referred to a birthing center by a gf of mine. I decided against a birthing center. I have anxiety issues and as freakishly as this may sound, I'm comforted in a hospital. I think it's just knowing all that I need in case of an emergency is there. Anyway, I decided to next try my health insurance website to see if they had a "find a doctor" button. Yes, they did BUT all that does is give you a list of doctors. Like I care if some random doctor lives within 5 miles of me. What I care about is what they care about. I wanted profiles, pictures, references, ratings. I could find nothing like that. Then I searched for "top doctors in San Diego" and San Diego Magazine had a fantastic list of tons of doctors listed by their specialty. Sounds great and all but all I'm thinking is how all these rich doctors probably just paid for advertising to get their name on the list. I still didn't have references and reviews. So I made a list of doctors I found (from the list and other places) and thought I would google each one to see what I could find. However, in the meantime, I had this one doctor in mind (recommended to my by the same amazing and resourceful friend that referred me to the birthing center) that I was having a hell of a time finding. I found an organic baby boutique that he was affiliated with and had emailed this random email address that I found to see if I could get any information. As I was searching each doctor from my long list, I had an email message in my inbox from the baby boutique with information on the doctor I was looking for. She gave me his phone number, told me some wonderful things about him and I was happy as a clam! I called right away and made my appointment. This small event put me in the best mood ever since I found out I was pregnant (omit the first 12 hours of finding out - nothings as good as that).
I am so excited about this doctor that I couldn't wait to blog about it. His name is Robert Biter. He formally practiced at Scripps Encinitas. Scripps suspended his work, leaving several women feeling alone, considering their OB was just ordered not to perform anymore deliveries. There was no public explanation but there is quite a bit of speculation about it all. Dr. Biter isn't the kind of doctor that will push you out of the hospital as quick as he can. He encourages you to stay as long as you need for your body to do what is naturally needs to do. When he was suspended, crowds gathered to rally and protest. The support he had was amazing! Everyone loves him because he is such an advocate for women's right about their birthing choices. He is known for staying during the entire process where most doctor's are known for jumping in just as the baby is popping out. He encourages a natural vaginal birth and supports a women's decision to choose against a C-section when other doctors made them feel they didn't have a choice. Since he was suspended there has been rumors he may be opening a birthing center but when I called today the receptionist said he is in negotiation to work for a new hospital. So I'm obviously over the moon about this guy. My bff called to say she checked him out online and went on to say "he's HOT". Which of course I already knew but who cares about hot when this guys going to see me have hemorrhoids and possibly poop on the table.
Anyway, my appt is set for Nov. 17th. I just felt like I really checked something off of my list. My hubby and I plan on gathering a list of our biggest concerns and making sure we see eye to eye with Mr. Dr. of my dreams. He sounds so good on paper, and hopefully he is, but we're keeping our options open until we meet with him. Regardless, I will be having my first prenatal visit with him where we should hear a heartbeat!! I hope. I mean, I hope it's not too early to hear a heartbeat.
To finish this successful day off, I went to my Pilates training class and spoke to my instructor about my new addition. I've read that you should stay away from core exercises (which = Pilates) when you are pregnant. My instructor said she taught Pilates and Yoga throughout her entire pregnancy up until labor. She said it can only be good for me. Of course as I get further along, adjustments will have to be made. Point is, is that ever since I found out I was pregnant I keep doubting my body and all that it is capable of. Yesterday I worked out and still keep "checking" everytime I pee to make sure nothing bad is happening down there. But today I finally got this wind of confidence. If I miscarry it won't be because of Pilates, or walking, or eating pineapple, or kissing my dog, or blah blah blah. It feels so good to feel this strong.
Until tomorrow...
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
My very first blog EVER!
So I have never blogged in my life and I'm terrible at keeping journals. I've always admired the dedicated type that would document every single life changing event in great detail. I'd love to be able to look back on certain times and remember the thoughts and concerns I had at that time. So here's to technology and the new kind of journal...blogging. I decided to give this blog a go because I took 3 pregnancy tests after being 7 days late on Saturday. Ever since then I have been filled with thoughts, ideas, questions, concerns, nerves, anxiousness and, I feel confident when I say, every other emotion that exists. I have been surfing the net to find blogs where other women talk about going through the same things but can't seem to pin point the same feelings. So I thought I would start blogging, hoping to reach out to other women going through the same experience. Maybe this is your first pregnancy or maybe your second and you have feedback for others that have never walked this walk yet. I am hoping to write and hear feedback!! That is my main goal for this blog. I want to share stories, good and bad, and learn from each other. So let's get going.
My name is Sarah. I am 31 years old. I have been married for a year in August. My husbands name is Scott and he is 25. Call me a cougar, I'm cool with it. We own a condo but decided to rent it out and move in with the mom so we can save money to buy a bigger house. We did this before we unexpectedly expected. I started a new job in a new career path from accounting to consulting about 2 months ago. We have been wanting to start a family but knew this was definitely not the time. We tried for about 4 months at one point but were unsuccessful. And then, of course, mother nature showed us who was in charge.
On this past Saturday we were visiting family in another state. We knew some adult beverages were to be consumed later on in the evening and since I was 7 days late I thought I might as well take a test for peace of mind. I had been taking some vitamins that were messing with my cycle so I really never thought it would come up positive. Plus we only had one slip up in the last month and all those other tries "his" and "mine" never met. I ran in the house, Scott was fixing a light in my step-mom's bathroom. I barged in the bathroom, shutting the door behind me explaining the situation. He's thinking "great, another $15.00 and we already know it's going to be negative". He really was thinking this, he told me later. Within in seconds it came up positive. We were amazed. After staring at each other in awe for about a minute and a half solid, we threw the door open, screamed to our family and called our closest. Well our closest became less and less close. With every class of closeness we moved to, I would take another test. Wow! The best day, the best feeling, the biggest love in my heart ever EVER!
Scott and I snuck away to be alone as much as we could that day. "We have to run to the store, be right back". Then we took the longest time possible to come back. We were higher than ever. We were laughing uncontrollably, just falling in love all over again and in a way I never knew you could love someone. Hearing my husband say that he is so excited to be a dad put our relationship on a level I never knew existed. It was like there was something about him that I never knew. A person inside of him that I had never met. A dad. The father of my children. Now I still haven't met the women inside me yet that someone will someday (soon) call mama but I'm working on it.
So I should be about 5 1/2 weeks along. I'm reading books, searching blogs, reading about doula's, natural child birth, cloth diapers, eating more organic (I'm vegan) than before, learning about why I'm constipated, why I pee every hour at night, how I should exercise and the beat goes on.
For the first 3 days of knowing (Sat, Sun and Mon) I relaxed more than normal. I ate what I wanted and sort of vegged out. Now I normally work out 5 days a week and do Pilates twice a week and eat a vegan diet. Everyone says you can continue working out but I felt so nervous moving my body around so aggressively at the gym when there is this fragile little bean that is trying to survive. This early time is so nerve wrecking and I think any mom to be in these early stages would agree.
Last night I woke up to an achy tummy and convinced myself they were cramps. Luckily it was just gas. Today (Tues) I went back to the gym and did low impact cardio for a longer time than usual so I could burn the same amount of calories. I figure I'll do Pilates workout on my arms and let my belly rest. Within an hour of me being home, I went pee and found a spot. The spot was almost see through but of course, causes alarm. I went for a walk with my mother in law. I tried my hardest to pretend I was involved in our conversation but I had a one track mind. When we got home I hurried into the house, into the bathroom and all was clear. I have no cramping and am feeling so great so I was able to talk myself out of all the negative thoughts surrounding me. WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING is the baby bible book and is so encouraging. It really talks about what we worry freaks tend to worry about and why there is really no reason to worry about it.
So this is where I'm at. In bed hoping my little bean is stable and strong. I am hoping this can be a support group for any expecting mommy's who have valid (and invalid) concerns. They're all real feelings. Something I have really learned is the power of the supportive woman. I feel like my friends and family picked me up and have carried me since Saturday. I would be full of fear and anxiety if it wasn't for support but instead I am excited and thankful, happy and gleeful.
This blog/comment page is for any and all concerns. If you feel you are not resourceful with what you have I will do my best to guide you in the right direction. I'm definitely not the most knowledgeable but I have a lot of resources and I use them! So use me. ;)
My name is Sarah. I am 31 years old. I have been married for a year in August. My husbands name is Scott and he is 25. Call me a cougar, I'm cool with it. We own a condo but decided to rent it out and move in with the mom so we can save money to buy a bigger house. We did this before we unexpectedly expected. I started a new job in a new career path from accounting to consulting about 2 months ago. We have been wanting to start a family but knew this was definitely not the time. We tried for about 4 months at one point but were unsuccessful. And then, of course, mother nature showed us who was in charge.
On this past Saturday we were visiting family in another state. We knew some adult beverages were to be consumed later on in the evening and since I was 7 days late I thought I might as well take a test for peace of mind. I had been taking some vitamins that were messing with my cycle so I really never thought it would come up positive. Plus we only had one slip up in the last month and all those other tries "his" and "mine" never met. I ran in the house, Scott was fixing a light in my step-mom's bathroom. I barged in the bathroom, shutting the door behind me explaining the situation. He's thinking "great, another $15.00 and we already know it's going to be negative". He really was thinking this, he told me later. Within in seconds it came up positive. We were amazed. After staring at each other in awe for about a minute and a half solid, we threw the door open, screamed to our family and called our closest. Well our closest became less and less close. With every class of closeness we moved to, I would take another test. Wow! The best day, the best feeling, the biggest love in my heart ever EVER!
Scott and I snuck away to be alone as much as we could that day. "We have to run to the store, be right back". Then we took the longest time possible to come back. We were higher than ever. We were laughing uncontrollably, just falling in love all over again and in a way I never knew you could love someone. Hearing my husband say that he is so excited to be a dad put our relationship on a level I never knew existed. It was like there was something about him that I never knew. A person inside of him that I had never met. A dad. The father of my children. Now I still haven't met the women inside me yet that someone will someday (soon) call mama but I'm working on it.
So I should be about 5 1/2 weeks along. I'm reading books, searching blogs, reading about doula's, natural child birth, cloth diapers, eating more organic (I'm vegan) than before, learning about why I'm constipated, why I pee every hour at night, how I should exercise and the beat goes on.
For the first 3 days of knowing (Sat, Sun and Mon) I relaxed more than normal. I ate what I wanted and sort of vegged out. Now I normally work out 5 days a week and do Pilates twice a week and eat a vegan diet. Everyone says you can continue working out but I felt so nervous moving my body around so aggressively at the gym when there is this fragile little bean that is trying to survive. This early time is so nerve wrecking and I think any mom to be in these early stages would agree.
Last night I woke up to an achy tummy and convinced myself they were cramps. Luckily it was just gas. Today (Tues) I went back to the gym and did low impact cardio for a longer time than usual so I could burn the same amount of calories. I figure I'll do Pilates workout on my arms and let my belly rest. Within an hour of me being home, I went pee and found a spot. The spot was almost see through but of course, causes alarm. I went for a walk with my mother in law. I tried my hardest to pretend I was involved in our conversation but I had a one track mind. When we got home I hurried into the house, into the bathroom and all was clear. I have no cramping and am feeling so great so I was able to talk myself out of all the negative thoughts surrounding me. WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING is the baby bible book and is so encouraging. It really talks about what we worry freaks tend to worry about and why there is really no reason to worry about it.
So this is where I'm at. In bed hoping my little bean is stable and strong. I am hoping this can be a support group for any expecting mommy's who have valid (and invalid) concerns. They're all real feelings. Something I have really learned is the power of the supportive woman. I feel like my friends and family picked me up and have carried me since Saturday. I would be full of fear and anxiety if it wasn't for support but instead I am excited and thankful, happy and gleeful.
This blog/comment page is for any and all concerns. If you feel you are not resourceful with what you have I will do my best to guide you in the right direction. I'm definitely not the most knowledgeable but I have a lot of resources and I use them! So use me. ;)
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